list of positive aspects – Appreciation Magic

I used to go to a Puerto Rican restaurant in Manhattan that had quotes painted on its basement walls. One in particular read, “Don’t let idiots ruin your day.” While the restaurant no longer exists, that message is good advice for living a more joyful life. Too often we let others “ruin” our days. We care too much about what they think of us or what they say to us. Yet we have an opportunity to choose our own reaction. I normally practice this philosophy of choosing how I react to unpleasant situations or people but this week, I was reminded that I’m human. I let someone’s comments to me upset me for days. And now, I appreciate that these comments made me remember to breathe, to remember to choose a better feeling thought and to remember to appreciate the best in the situation.

I appreciate it for the reaction it gave me to remember my own practices, to remember that I am in control of my own well-being and that I need not concern myself with what others think of me. I appreciate that I don’t have to wait for others to like me, or accept what I’m offering. I am enough. I am worthy. I appreciate the reminder that we don’t always know what others may be going through, so instead of judging them, we can just send them love and good intentions for moving forward.

I appreciate the time I’ve known this person. I can appreciate using Abraham-Hick’s List of Positive Aspects about this person, too. I have practiced using that list for years, whenever I was having challenges with people. I appreciate that it helps me to think of them in a more joyful light and helps me to move on.

I can appreciate myself for not responding to this person in a way that would further cause angst between us. I appreciate choosing a reaction that feels good. I can appreciate that this behavior prompted me to write a blog post. I appreciate this unwanted contrast for the value it’s teaching me to let things go. I have the power to choose how I feel about all of this and I am empowered to use this moment to let it all go: and so I did.

One of the best techniques I’ve learned for improving any relationship is the List of Positive Aspects by Abraham-Hicks. It goes something like this: When you are having difficulty with someone, get out a notebook and label it My List of Positive Aspects. At the top of the page, write the name of the person at the top. Now, thinking back over a time or times when you felt something positive about this person, list every positive aspect you can think of about that person. Only write the positive and then sit with it for some moments. Feel that positive energy about this person. When you think again about this person, remember your list. When you do this, people “miraculously” change when they are in your presence, only demonstrating those positive aspects you’ve focused on.

I have used this technique over and over again, with great success. Sometimes it can be a challenge to even start the list, but when you do and practice it, you will end up adding to the list of positive qualities about that person. Eventually, your list about that person will be so long that you no longer need to refer to it as everytime you think about that person, you will hold him or her in that good feeling place.

Even though you’re not feeling it right now, there is always something positive about that person. If you can’t get the feeling right away, focus on something positive about their physical appearance to start. For example, do they have nice hair? Do they have nice eyes? Or perhaps they have a particular skill that you admire, such as excellent editing, beautiful singing voice, or a great dancer. Just write something positive and focus on that.

Today as I’m reminded of interactions that could be challenging, I am grateful that I have a technique like this to shift that from a challenge to no challenge at all. When I am doing so, I know that I am holding them in a place of love and love really does make my world go round!